Catfish Season 2 Premiere: “I Need Help Meeting My Fiancé” and WHAT THE FUCK are Image Searches?!

When I first saw there was a show on MTV called Catfish, I was an excited little fisherwoman – but it had nothing to do with fish. #disappointment

Last night I watched some episodes from the first season, and then caught the Season 2 premiere (during which I live tweeted! Follow me on twitter to join in next week).

The season starts with Cassie, a pretty young woman who works at a Miami radio station (hmmm – lots of episodes take the crew to Miami; think the location could possibly factor into which emails they choose to document?!). Cassie’s father was killed during a kidnapping-turned-killing in Haiti, and afterward Cassie acted out by partying and sleeping around. She admitted drinking every day and using sex to distract her from her grief, but that all changed when she met Steven – a SMOKING hot aspiring rapper.

Cassie’s email to Nev and Max is shocking right off the bat: it reads, “I need help meeting my fiancé.” Apparently CASSIE proposed and Steven accepted – but they only ever talk on the phone and she has just SIX pictures of him! Steven claims he’s always in the studio (rapping AND producing, ooooh) or traveling to promote his music, so that’s why he hasn’t had time to meet Cassie in the TWO YEARS they’ve been in an online relationship (and are freakin engaged!).

Okay, am I the only person under fifty who was completely unaware that such a thing as an image search existed? I admit I’m not very techhy, but I was all WTF when they were able to use a “search image” instead of a “search term.” Anyway, after checking out Steven’s profile and finding pretty much every post to be about Cassie (suspicious, much?), Max and Nev look into his alleged rap career. I wonder if he knows Jo (shout out to Nerd.InA.Cool.Kids.Body!). After nothing turns up in a search of his rap name, they Shazam his music (technology, by the way, I actually knew existed). No surprise, his songs turn up nothing. Finally they do the magical image search and it pulls up the profile of a (sexy) model who has way more than six pictures on his page, and is clearly the real “Steve.” Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen, because this episode is just getting started.

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With lips like that no wonder she attracted a catfish.

Nev meets Cassie and her best friend Gladys for pedicures (fabulous!). They talk about what Steven has meant to Cassie and Gladys says he helped her turn her life around when her family and friends couldn’t.

Unfortunately, it’s time to break the truth to her. Cringe. The poor girl is so embarrassed, but she handles things really well for having just found out she wasted two years of her life she could’ve been spending with someone real. Max and Nev set out to find out who’s been deceiving her, and pretty quickly their search pans out.

In examining the mp3s sent to Cassie, the duo find an artist name attached to the file information. Googling it turns up a profile for a skinny white guy who looks like Gotye. They don’t know whether this is the Catfish or if someone is just using his music (uh, probably should’ve picked someone less sucky if it’s the latter). So they decide to see if Cassie knows who the hell this skinny fuck is.

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I wouldn’t blame Cassie if she went back to the bottle after all this.

Unbelievable. She knows who he is. She knows him by name. He’s Gladys’s cousin, who’s been STAYING AT HER HOUSE. Me thinks this guy might have somethings to do with the Steven Sham. My first thought was to run to Megan’s Law website and look this fucker up, but they decide to go to Gladys’s house to figure out what’s going on.

When they arrive, Gladys answers the door looking anxious and then drops a bomb – she’s the one who made up Steve! Not only that, she enlisted Tony to talk to Cassie on the phone to really sell that betrayal! Looks like their pedicures may outlast their friendship.

After Cassie gets in the car to scream a little (as I would), she actually gets really calm and wants an explanation from Gladys and Tony. When Nev asks why she would accept a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL when the whole thing was a sham, Gladys has the balls to say she didn’t say yes, only “okay.” Hun, that’s accepting it. Still, they are both really apologetic and say they only did it to help her get her self-respect back. Because mortification and crushing disappointment really do that for a person.

In probably the craziest part of this episode, Cassie actually agrees to see Gladys again – and forgives her! They did say they never stay mad at each other too long, but after this?! Maybe Cassie didn’t wanna feel like she was losing everything all at once, but I can’t believe they actually stayed friends. Kinda would be weird after breaking off the engagement.

I have to admit this episode took me completely by surprise. I’m hooked (ahahaha).

Well, readers, were you as surprised as me? Share your thoughts on the Catfish premiere down in the comments below!

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