I’m going to preface this by admitting I read The Ashley’s recap last night before watching the show, and could not focus on ANYTHING but the crazy eyebrows scattered throughout the episode (thanks for that). Check out her fantastic blog, The Ashley’s Reality Roundup. She’s also the coauthor of Teen Mom Confidential!
Anyway, this show is friggen great. Alright, it got boring fast, but I was typing up a storm before the teaser clips even ended. Right off the bat we got to see Catelynn’s ugly cry face, even before the intro! Speaking of that, you gotta love Catelynn and Tyler’s sound bites for it – “I’m not 16 anymore,” “and I’m not pregnant!” (Of course they had to reference our beloved show for the actual adult audience of Vh1 to have a clue who they were).
Moving on, where the hell did they find this therapist? Those damn eyebrows give make her look serious and professional, but then she started using the f-word during Flavor Flav’s segment. Seriously, what marriage counselor does that?! I think she may actually be Amber Frey – the cussing would make sense if Vh1 scooped their “doctor” straight out of Fresno (represent!).
Speaking of Flav, he SHOULD be embarrassed – not for his chick Liz’s tantrum, but because Tyler called his behavior childish, all while his cartoonish t-shirt swalled his undeveloped chest. Seriously though, something tells me Catelynn and Tyler may prove to be one of the more mature couples on the show, which I guess comes from having to raise yourself in a household of psychos.
All kidding aside, right away they show some good insight about Flavor Flav and his crazy fiancee, and it made me really feel for Tyler when he said something about Liz acting so immaturely when she has kids. I’ve never placed my offspring in an adoptive home, but it still pisses me off when I see parents acting immaturely.
Overall, the first moments of seeing them on TV again made that black core of my heart warm ever so slightly. Plus I freakin love those pseudo-Canadian accents of theirs!
The next morning, the couples head off to their first group therapy session. I would hate being in that house. It’s like my mom’s, but exponentially more stressful. Methinks Catelynn and Tyler may have benefitted a bit more from private couple’s counseling visits, no? I’m actually kind of scared for them at the start of group. I don’t know whether they’re going to be speaking the same language as the other celebutards.
WHAAAAT? Flavor of Love was STAGED? Who could’ve guessed that? Back to Cate and Ty in a second – just had to laugh about the fact that Flav agreed to do a friggen dating show when he was in a committed relationship. Absolute insanity. No wonder his fiancee has those crazy eyes.
Whaddya know, our favorite teenage reproducers are next up on the chopping block! Cate says their “rock bottom” moment was her lying about her ex, which of course we’ve already seen on Teen Mom. Right away, Tyler explains to Amber Frey that Cate was “born and raised to lie” by our favorite alcoholic April, and that she does it out of an inherent need to please others. Tell me again, why are they on this show? What I wouldn’t give for a boyfriend to empathize with my motivations when I screw up interpersonally.
After they agree with the therapist that Catelynn lies to keep the peace, Amber Frey asks about Catelynn’s fears of abandonment, and she talks about how her mom was never there for her and she never felt like she had a home. I’d always assumed that Catelynn’s move to Florida had happened when April “went away” for a 2-5 year stretch, but apparently her mom kicked her out (from my calculations, around the time baby brother Nick was born! Clearly motherhood is a priority to April). Crying, Catelynn brings up their upcoming wedding, and how she never, ever wants to get divorced. Poor Cate. She just wants to be loved unconditionally and feel safe. In the last seasons of Teen Mom Tyler showed signs of wanting to roam, but he really does seem like he wants to be that man for her. I think he should be the one doing more of the talking during these therapy sessions, though, because he obviously understands Catelynn, but she’s got to be able to respect his needs and boundaries too (example: going to “tha club” without her sometimes is perfectly acceptable in a healthy relationship). After group, we catch a shot Catelynn and Tyler saying they love each other – awww.
Is there really a half hour left on the show? Damn it. Hey, The Ashley pointed out everyone’s eyebrows, but what’s up with Liz’s ears? They’re set like an inch too high on her head. And Joe Francis is DISTURBING. “I’m not controlling. I actually hate it. I hate when I have to tell you what to do.” You don’t HAVE to TELL her to do ANYTHING, you creep!
Finally, Day 3 starts with series of trust building exercises on an obstacle course. Can I say that Catelynn is just adorable? As Joe Francis’s girlfriend works herself into a panic, you hear Cate’s sweet voice call out, “You’ll be able to do it Abby!” Unfortunately, the cuteness ended abruptly when creepy ass Joe tethers them together and he drags her around, knocks her on her ass, gives her a kiss, and tells her it was her fault. Did I mention he’s a creepy fuck?
After trying to cheer up Liz over fried chicken and pepsi (haha), the rest of the show focuses on her relationship with Flav, which I wouldn’t have watched if I’d known there woudn’t be any more Cate and Ty – but the unseen clip shows them completing their trust building exercise on an elevated balance beam!
They have to climb up two posts, reach the top, walk across, and switch places with each other to get to the opposite side. Tyler was all for rock climbing, but he was NOT happy about the balance beam. When he tells Catelynn not to pull him down with her if she falls, she smiles and says, “Okay, but if I fall, you’re coming down with me!” Uh, Cate, how was that an agreement to what he asked? Amber Frey reminds her to be sensitive to Tyler’s needs, and she agrees, but I foresee this being a recurring issue during the series.
They climb the beam, and Tyler is freaking the fuck out the whole time, chanting, “I just wanna grab you! I just want you to touch me!” He starts walking toward Cate and she finally lets go of the post and inches closer to him, until they get to the scary part where they have to hold on to each other to turn around.
With a little coaching, they do great, and back on the ground seem really proud of each other. It’s especially sweet when Tyler validates Cate’s tendency to stay calm, and how it helps ground him when he’s getting worked up.
All in all, the episode was pretty good – the other couples were more interesting to watch than I thought they’d be, and I was surprised at how happy it made me watching Catelynn and Tyler again – although I don’t know whether Amber Frey is the that great of a marriage counselor outside of Fresno.
Did you watch the show? Are Catelynn and Tyler going to make it to their wedding? Did the Scott Peterson and incest jokes cross a line? Tell me in the comments below! Let’s get a discussion going!